Tanka
Trotting through the woods
I see a charming blue-bird
Hope I hit the mark
Feathers flying everywhere
Another day, one more meal
Bio-Poem
Aaron
Diminutive, cowardly, tortured, weak
Son of Todd, brother of Reagan and Craig
Who loves music, and women who don’t appreciate him
Who has experienced fear, pain, and sorrow
Who fears danger, rebellion, excitement
Who will accomplish respect
Who just wants to make music and be understood
Who lives near his greatest fear
Lednar
Haiku
Pumping through my veins
Heads spinning, hearts are pounding
Breathe Carolina
I really enjoyed your poems. The biopoem was very detailed and i ecspecially liked the tanka.
Line 4 of your bio poem doesn’t make sense, try and claify a little bit. I love the language and symmetry in your haiku but I’m not really sure what the main topic is. Your tonka is violent…but the language is strong. Good work.
Good stuff, tanka “hope i hit the mark” i only understand that because we talked about it in class.
Haiku- whats going on? “Pumping through my veins” that doesn’t give me an image of anything because theres not a subject before “pumping”. you could use blood or cocaine or something. i kinda got the impression that something was overdosing since by saying “Pumping through my veins” it had to have been something other than blood, otherwise that first line would have to relevance to anything
For those who don’t understand the haiku, Breathe Carolina is a techno band. Hope that clears some stuff up haha. Knowing that, I think the Haiku was my favorite. I would recommend maybe going into a bit more detail on your Bio-Poem. Well done.