The Almighty Megatron

Power Rangers-Sideways Flip


“Power rangers-sideways flip.” It’s not every day you get to use that adjective. Before I even explain what that means though I’m going to mess with your mind. All the skin on the underside of my left fore arm went missing. I don’t know if it was torn off or burned off but it wasn’t there anymore. And I was in so much shock that I didn’t even know it happened. Hopefully you’re very confused but I just felt like acting like I was Quentin Tarantino for a minute.


It was in the third grade and this was before we had an Xbox so for fun I would just mess around with our family’s treadmill. This was a monstrosity of exercise equipment. Its harsh angles and black paint job gave it a demonic look of sorts. And since it was the early 2000s it was very noisy and very bulky.  On this fateful day I decided to go downstairs and play on the treadmill. My very favorite game to play was “fast then slow” which is where you would stand on the two side rails of the treadmill and turn the speed up to 10mph (the maximum speed on this treadmill) and once it evened out at 10mph you would hit the zero button to make it slow to a stop. Right as you hit the zero button you would jump onto the tread and run from 10mph steadily down to zero mph where you would stop steadily and perfectly safe. Now as you can probably tell that didn’t happen this time.


          As I got onto the treadmill I noticed its one safety feature. It was a plug that was needed to turn on the treadmill and could be attached to yourself so if you fell off it would turn off. Now mind you I was eight years old and all grown up so I didn’t need the string. So I plugged it he piece of plastic and let the clip end dangle around my knees. Now after a few practice jumps at eight mph I decided it was time to up the ante. I had down ten mph before and this was nothing new to me. “But this time something horribly wrong happened.


          The treadmill gracefully revved up to ten miles an hour and I prepared for my jump. I sprang off my feet and hit the zero button at the same time. Yet for some reason still unknown to me the extremely reliable technology of home fitness equipment of the early 2000’s gave out on me. Since the machine didn’t register my hit on the zero key it was merrily chugging away at a steady ten miles per hour which my miniscule eight year old frame had a little bit of trouble keeping up with it. I think I might have gotten two steps in before the tread took me off my feet. It threw me off my feet and sideways so as I was doing a barrel role in mid air away from the front of the treadmill. Luckily this position made the safety cord rap around my neck and my momentum pulled it out of its housing.


I vaguely remember saying the first expletive I knew as an eight year old before I crashed into the cabinets behind our treadmill. AS I lay there dazed I lifted my arm to lift myself up and felt as if it was being rubbed vigorously. I didn’t feel anything at the time and I was probably lucky as such that what I would see in about thirty seconds would not make me feel any better.


My mom’s mom sense was tingling and sure enough as she raced down the stairs she noticed something I had not. After I got up after the treadmill stopped I only noticed a little bit of skin missing in between my thumb and wrist. ‘Ok’ I thought to myself ‘I can hide this from her’. Little did I know that she would notice something much worse.


          “What was that noise!” she yelled at me as she came down our basement stairs. “Nothing I just slipped on the treadmill and hit the cabinets” I said in my defense. “Oh really?” she said sarcastically, “Then what’s this?” She grabbed my arm around the wrist and flipped it over. All the skin on the underside of my left fore arm went missing. I don’t know if it was torn off or burned off but it wasn’t there anymore. And I was in so much shock that I didn’t even know it happened.  Dumbfounded I let her clean my arm with alcohol and set up an appointment for the doctor the next day. I still don’t know what happened to all of my skin but I do know not to try and play “fast then slow” anymore.

Published on January 5, 2009 at 3:00 am  Leave a Comment  

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